Dear Chausey,

 I just wanted to tell you that what you wrote in your second "Dear Chausey" was exactly what I had been searching for.  I've been haunted by my younger mother years.  Things fell apart, and my boys lost their family.  I was so distraught and stressed, I wasn't the mom they needed me to be at the time, and it haunts me.

It seems that the healthier and better my life becomes, the more I regret those years.  I felt I handicapped my boys somehow, forever.  It was killing me to think how much different things should have been for them...how much they missed out on, because of me...how I wasn't the mom I should have been...

I had recently sought out a therapist I had seen a few times back then, for help with this now, I love her and felt she is gifted at what she does.  She pretty much said I'm doing great, my boys are good.  She spent an hour with one of my sons too.  It's true, we are good. 

BUT, I was still haunted by it.  It still nagged at me, that things should have been different and that those were such important years, how could they not have affected them in a profound way that shaped them now.  Was there anything else I could do now to help heal the past?

I had recently decided that if I went through visualizations and recreated situations from the past in my mind as I would have wanted them to be, perhaps that could positively affect my children now and heal their past too.

I had done something similar with a grandfather who died before I was born.  He struggled with something he was not able to overcome.  I struggled with the same thing.  I decided I would heal myself, and do it for him too.  I prayed to the grandfather I had never met, and told him I was doing it for both of us, that I was sorry things were so different when he was alive, and he did not have the support he needed.  I told him I loved him and this was for us.  I also did it for for the generations to come.  I was successful in healing that part of myself, and my life is beautiful.  Part of me felt it helped him too.  But, nobody ever said so, until you.

I heard in a bible study once, that we can be the change in our families for the next thousand years.  I loved that. I took it to heart.  Our lives turned around 180, when I changed mine many years ago.

These thoughts I had, about healing my boy's childhood, and my grandfather's addiction, were just ideas I had come up with on my own.  Nobody ever had suggested that this was possible, that I could heal things now, that happened long ago.  So, when I read your words...

"If you choose to do this sacred work of healing, the invisible cord of energy that connects you to your children, will deliver the healing to them wherever they are.  I've been taught and I believe, that when we heal something deeply in our family system, our ancestors on the other side can even receive that healing.  After all, they were involved in the pattern of consciousness that we rode in on." 

...I knew I was on the right track.  And, I am seriously weeping now...I'm trying to type at 3:00 am, with tears running down my face because I finally truly believe I can do something positive to heal these things, and you reinforced that with this latest letter. You confirmed what I had hoped to be true.

Thank you.